


In Lieu Of

by literaryspell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Bondage, Chan, Double Penetration, First Time, Incest, M/M, Multi, mild bloodplay (biting), slapping as a kink, verbal humiliation as a kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-03
Updated: 2009-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-23 04:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryspell/pseuds/literaryspell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is witness to Sirius’ deviant relationship with his younger brother, and he begs his friend to stop. But it isn’t long until Remus is dragged into the mire—can he find his way out? Does he even want to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Lieu Of

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for [](http://hp-triangle.livejournal.com/profile)[**hp_triangle**](http://hp-triangle.livejournal.com/). It’s one of those fics that really wrecked me to write. It was emotionally exhausting but I think it’s one of the best things I’ve written.
> 
> Major thanks to chivalric55 and ratherbsailing for giving this a first read, and all my gratitude to [info]rainien and Krystle Lynne for the beta-work. What an amazing team!

  
Remus hated number twelve, Grimmauld Place almost as much as Sirius did. The cool, damp air made the bed sheets sticky and unwelcoming, and the walls had this way of closing in on you, oppressing you, devouring you.

Remus didn’t take to being trapped very well.

But Sirius had invited him to stay over for a week during the Christmas hols, and Remus, though he knew he shouldn’t, usually did whatever Sirius asked. James and Peter had been invited as well, but James was on vacation with his parents, and Peter was grounded for some ignominious reason or another.

By the time the other two had turned down the invitation, Remus almost did as well. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being around Sirius alone, no… the problem was that he _loved_ being around Sirius alone. And Sirius didn’t know.

It hadn’t been much of a problem anyway, because Sirius’ little brother, Regulus, was always following the two of them around, so Remus didn’t get a chance to embarrass himself by letting his feelings show.

But there was something about the house that set off the wolf in Remus. If he had hackles, they’d be raised. He even caught himself baring his teeth while he was pulling the bedcovers down. His instincts were amuck in this strange and ugly house.

Sirius laughed at him, told him he looked as though he was about to chew his own leg off to escape, but Sirius didn’t offer for them to go to Remus’ house instead, where the beds were warm, the sheets fresh, the people hospitable. And Remus knew why Sirius didn’t want to leave. The reason was about fifteen years old, straight black hair, eyes eerily like Sirius’ but missing that indefinable spark. Regulus. Sirius hated to leave his brother alone in this wasteland, wanted to protect him from their parents’ indoctrination.

Remus shook himself and finally sat up in bed. Though the room was bleak and dark, and the moonlight too weak to do more than make Remus’ nostrils sting, he could immediately tell that Sirius was no longer in the room. A glance to the other bed while his eyesight adjusted confirmed this. The bed had been slept in—of course, because Sirius had gone to bed at the same time as Remus, hours before. But it was empty now.

Standing and sliding into his pyjama pants, Remus walked over to the other bed and touched the pillow lightly. It was cool. The indent of Sirius’ head was still there, and Remus followed its shape gently. Sirius didn’t like to be alone, so it was only natural that Remus go looking for him.

The halls were just as dingy as the rest of the house. It wasn’t that they were dirty, no, nothing really was. Everything was just so… _dark._

It was a drowning, thrashing place, where Remus felt as though he were just below the surface, looking up and seeing sun, knowing it was supposed to be warm, but he felt only cold.

Remus _hated_ Grimmauld Place.

The kitchen, sitting room, parlour, sunroom, and dining room were all empty. Remus checked the library, though he doubted Sirius had been in there more than a few times in his entire life, and certainly never by choice.

Sighing, Remus decided to head back to bed. Sirius could be any number of places in the house, and if he didn’t want to be found, Remus was fooling himself if he thought he could search him out by sheer determination.

He passed his bedroom in favour of the bathroom. When he was washing his hands, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. His image seemed a little distorted, a little more sinister than usual, though what could be sinister about a scrawny sixteen-year-old with scars and dark circles under his eyes, he didn’t know. He usually thought he looked weak and pathetic. The lamplight flickered, and Remus left the bathroom.

As he was returning to his room, he heard the sound of a slap, a muffled cry, and then equally muffled angry words. Remus froze. If Mrs. Black was being abused, what should he do? He couldn’t stop Mr. Black, who was large and menacing and had no qualms raising his wand against an unarmed teenager. But he couldn’t let that happen, even if Mrs. Black was mad and cruel.

He took a hesitant step in the direction of the sound, stopping once more as he heard another slap, and another, only the cries that followed were distinctly more masculine, and now that he thought of it, that was Regulus’ room, not the Blacks’.

Remus ran toward the door. Mr. Black beating Regulus was just not on. The kid couldn’t even defend himself!

He threw open the door, having thought no further than to interrupt and stop the beating, but his heart broke at what he saw.

Regulus, on his back, tied to the four corners of the bed. His face was red and one side was bloodied. There were scratches all over his arms and chest, and bite marks staining his alabaster skin. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

Sirius, kind, funny, outgoing Sirius, was straddling his younger brother’s body, arm drawn back to deliver another blow.

They were both naked.

“Sirius!” Remus cried, lunging forward. The look in Regulus’ eyes gave him pause, but he went on. “What the hell are you doing?”

Sirius stared at him, almost blankly, and Remus was a little afraid of the look on his face. He didn’t seem to be entirely there. “It’s not what it looks like, Remus, I swear.”

Remus’ eyes widened. He took a step forward to the head of the bed, wanting to untie Regulus and get Sirius off of him. “It looks like you’ve tied him up and beat him!”

Sirius looked at Regulus, who stared back evenly, almost challengingly.

“Well, then, I suppose it is what it looks like, but it’s not what you think,” Sirius amended, moving off Regulus’ supine form. Remus tried not to stare at Sirius’ groin, but he was obviously erect and Remus could almost smell…

Regulus laughed.

Remus’ face shot toward him, avoiding Sirius altogether. He began to untie the younger Black.

“Remus,” Sirius said in a pleading voice. “He wants it!”

“What?” Remus asked, aghast. His hands paused in their attempts to loosen the bonds. For not being able to use magic outside of school, they had been intricately tied.

“It’s… it’s okay. It’s, you know, consensual.”

Remus could feel his heart constrict. Sirius had obviously lost it. “It’s okay,” he whispered to Regulus, who had a strange smile on his face. “It’s going to be okay.”

When Regulus was freed, Sirius sat heavily on the bed with his face in his hands. Regulus stood and walked up to Remus, who was, again, trying not to look at his obvious arousal. He’d heard men could get hard-ons when they got scared—it was a natural physiological reaction. But then Regulus was putting his arms around Remus’ neck, pressing his thin body against his, his heated chest lighting a fire against Remus’ clammy one.

“My hero,” he whispered, and he rolled his hips forward. Sirius whimpered, and Remus drew back, but Regulus wouldn’t break the embrace. The blood on the younger boy’s face made Remus sick, but something inside him was enjoying the sight of the weaker person being put in his place. Remus cringed away.

“Are you sure you don’t want to… enjoy us, Remus?” Regulus was saying, his lips moving against Remus’ ear.

“What… what are you saying?” Remus looked to Sirius for help, but he was only watching with wide eyes, saying nothing.

“I bet you would just love to tie Sirius down like he had me tied…” Regulus chuckled a little, and Remus wondered when the hell he’d lost control of this situation. He made a noise in the back of his throat, and Regulus drew back a little, though his hips were still pressed against Remus’. Regulus ran his hands over Remus’ chest, sharp fingernails grazing his nipples. “Or maybe,” he continued in a thoughtful tone. “Maybe _you_ ’d like to be the one tied down.” Remus’ traitorous cock gave a twitch, and Regulus heartily laughed.

“Told you, Sirius,” Regulus crowed, pushing Remus against the wall. Remus struggled half-heartedly, but he was too busy watching Sirius for cues. He just wanted to get away, get out of this room, and go back to his own house where things were safe and certain. “Sirius thought you’d want to be on top,” Regulus whispered, “but I said you were like me; you want to be taken _in hand,_ don’t you? You want someone to own you, to use you? Or maybe you just want Sirius to do that… well, Remus?”

“Remus, please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to know. Please don’t say anything. I’m sorry.” Sirius suddenly yanked Regulus back and away from Remus, who exhaled in relief. The younger boy was all sharp angles and pushed limits, and Remus didn’t feel safe around him. “Go sit on the fucking bed, you slut,” Sirius snapped at his brother. Remus expected Regulus to fight or cry or snap, but he only inhaled sharply, smiled softly, and climbed onto the bed, reclining on his back with his legs spread a little, one knee bent. Sirius bit his lip when he looked at him, before turning back to Remus.

“How could you do that him, Sirius?” Remus asked pleadingly. “How could you… he’s your brother! And he’s too young to know better.” Regulus made a scoffing laugh on the bed, and Remus winced at how hardened he sounded.

“I know,” Sirius said lowly, scrubbing his face with his hands and tugging on his black strands of hair. “He is beautiful, though, isn’t he?”

Remus looked at the bed. Regulus was slowly stroking his cock, licking the blood off his full lower lip and staring at Remus with hooded eyes. Remus swallowed. “Sirius… come back to our room, please? You can’t do this… whatever you were doing.”

Sirius nodded. Regulus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you fucking kidding? I was no less than two slaps away from the best orgasm of my fucking life!”

“Regulus,” Sirius snarled, “you shut your fucking whore mouth. I’ll deal with you later.”

Regulus moaned and stroked his cock harder, legs falling wide open. “Just a bit more, Sirius, please…”

But Remus had seen enough. He grabbed Sirius by the arm and yanked him outside the room. He dragged them back to the room they were sharing and shut the door behind them. He stared at Sirius with a broken expression on his face. “What is going on?”

Sirius sat heavily on Remus’ bed, gesturing for Remus to sit with him. He did, gingerly, and far from his friend. He was so confused.

For the next hour or more, Remus couldn’t be sure, so immersed was he in Sirius’ tale of debauchery and depravity, Sirius explained what Remus had seen.

It had begun over a year ago. The way Sirius told it, it was all Regulus’ idea, but Remus knew his friend well enough to know that no one made him do anything he didn’t already want to do. Sirius had been having feelings, urges… to hurt people, to dominate, to control. Remus despaired that he hadn’t told Sirius of his _own_ urges that were apparently so similar to Regulus’, because if he had, Sirius would never have given in to Regulus’ seductions; he would have had an outlet with Remus.

For that year, Sirius had been beating and fucking his brother. Remus wanted to vomit. It was so _wrong_. How could they even look at one another without seeing themselves? And Regulus was only fifteen, much too young to make such a life-altering decision.

“You have to stop,” Remus said simply when Sirius was done. They were both lying back on Remus’ bed, staring at the canopy.

“I want to,” Sirius said, turning onto his side to face Remus. He touched Remus’ shoulder to try to get him to shift into the same position, but Remus couldn’t look at him. “I hate that you know.”

“I’m glad I do, though. Because now you can stop. You can’t keep doing this to each other, to yourselves. You have to stop it, and I’ll help you.”

“How?” And Sirius sounded so desperate that Remus did turn to face him. Sirius’ eyes were hollow and grieving, and Remus was struck by how well he’d kept this secret for so long.

“However you need,” he said reassuringly. “Just promise me. Please.”

Sirius pushed the hair off Remus’ forehead, tracing a silvery scar by his temple. “I promise.” Sirius leaned forward to press a kiss against Remus’ lips, but he jerked away, unwilling to do that while Regulus was still so fresh on Sirius’ body. Sirius’ face fell, but Remus could only shake his head. He did take Sirius’ hand in his, and they fell asleep like that.

* * *

  
When the Christmas holidays were over and school was back in session, Remus made sure Sirius didn’t go to Regulus. He even used the Marauder’s Map to keep tabs on him when he couldn’t be there in person. So far, it appeared that Sirius was keeping his word. He was only grateful that Regulus was a Slytherin, because it would have been nearly impossible to keep them apart in Gryffindor.

“Who you looking for, Moony? Your girlfriend?” James teased one evening when Remus was watching Sirius’ footsteps pace on the seventh floor.

“No,” he said, closing the map and putting it aside for a moment.

“Boyfriend?” James suggested in a lower voice, his eyes serious.

Remus looked at him carefully for a minute. He wasn’t sure how much his friend knew, but he wasn’t really afraid of James’ reaction to finding out Remus was gay. If anything, it had been Sirius he’d been worried about, but that had proved to be unnecessary angst, hadn’t it?

“No, just seeing what everyone’s up to,” he lied without skill.

“Oh?” James grabbed up the map and opened it to where Remus’ eyes had been trained so carefully. “There’s only Sirius here. Why were you spying on him?”

“I wasn’t spying on him,” Remus said defensively. “I just wanted to know what he’s doing!”

“And what’s he doing?” James asked curiously but with an unconvinced look.

“Dunno.” Remus shrugged. And he didn’t know. Sirius had been wandering the castle for over an hour, something he did from time to time. He hadn’t taken Remus up on his offer to help, except that they would sometimes sit together, just the two of them, in the quiet. Remus didn’t think that helped very much, but he was willing to do whatever it took to get Sirius to stop his… inappropriate behaviour.

Regulus had been shooting them both glares whenever he got a chance, but the Slytherin was too subtle to start anything outright; Remus could tell he wanted to, though. And he hated that Sirius’ brother was angry at him, but surely the younger boy had to realise Remus was doing him a favour!

“Hmm,” James said, tossing the map back. “Well, don’t spend the entire evening mooning over Sirius, Remus.”

Remus wondered how much James knew, but decided not to risk finding out. “Whatever,” he muttered, opening his Charms homework and not sparing another glance for the map. He could feel James watching him, and he tried not to give himself away.

* * *

  
Light spilled into Remus’ bed as the covers were drawn. He was exhausted. Had he slept at all? But as he pried his eyes opened, he saw the light was from a _lumos_ and not the chiding morning sun.

“What do you want, Sirius?” he asked hoarsely as the boy in question climbed onto his bed and shut the curtains, effectively closing them in together.

“Shut your fucking mouth, Remus, or I’ll shut it for you,” Sirius growled. He ground out a few privacy and silencing spells, far advanced for their level. Remus’ mouth dropped open.

“What? Sirius, what’s wrong?”

And then Sirius was straddling him, groin to groin, and Remus realised he was hard. _Oh, gods._ Sirius was taking him up on his offer to help by using him like he would his brother. Remus squirmed a little, but he didn’t protest. He had promised, after all.

“I’m sorry, Remus,” Sirius whispered, so quietly Remus had to strain to hear. Then his arms were bound to the headboard in one spell, and another had them both naked. Remus gasped at the speed of it all, and spared a moment’s regret for the way his first time doing anything sexual with another person—and with a boy—and with Sirius—was happening.

Sirius leaned over Remus’ body, licking and biting his bound arms, nipping and pinching the skin of his forearm and the sensitive flesh on the inside of his upper arm. He sucked flesh into his mouth and bruised it, worrying it with his teeth and licking it.

“Taste so good,” he murmured, and Remus wanted to hate the rough treatment, but his blood was surging.

His neck and throat were next under the assault. Sirius’ teeth were weapons of pain and pleasure, and Remus found himself aching under his brutal attentions. Sirius’ tongue even delved into the hair of Remus’ underarm, making him whimper and throb. The wolf in him was screaming against this treatment, demanding that Remus break the bindings and show dominance to this pack member, but the internal struggle only served to make the pleasure that much more intense.

Bruises and lovebites both were scattered over Remus’ chest, his nipples teased and tormented under the talented tongue of his new lover.

And then Sirius’ mouth was on his, his tongue immediately sinking inside, not waiting for any permission, though it was, of course, given. Sirius kissed like he thought he might die any moment. He bit and sucked and thrust with his tongue, and Remus could do nothing but stay still and absorb the attack, and try to move with Sirius’ mouth to at least show that he was involved, that he wanted this.

When Sirius broke the kiss, Remus could taste blood, but he swallowed it dutifully. Sirius’ face was uncertain and almost scared, and Remus was sure his was the same. He’d never seen Sirius like this, and it alarmed him as much as it aroused him.

“You like this, don’t you?” Sirius asked softly. Remus nodded. Sirius’ entire demeanour changed. “Yeah, you fucking love this, you dirty cunt. Don’t you? You want to beg me to fuck you, don’t you? To suck you? To let you suck me?”

Remus was gasping at the words, feeling humiliated and unsure and turned on and lost. “Yes,” he whispered, panting.

“What?”

“Yes, let me suck you.”

“That’s it? That’s all you want, Remus? You don’t want my cock so far up your arse you can taste it? You don’t want me to thrust into you so viciously that you stretch and snap around me? You don’t want me to tear you and make you bleed?”

Remus was pretty sure that he didn’t want those things, not intellectually, but that didn’t stop precome from leaking down his cock or his eyes from glazing over.

“Maybe I don’t want your dirty mouth on my cock!” Sirius snarled, snapping his hips so that their cocks collided. Both boys groaned at the sensation.

Grinding his groin against Remus’, Sirius continued to thrust them together, their shared precome slicking the way. Remus pulled against the bonds to feel the sensation of being bound, and tried to thrust up from beneath Sirius.

“No, Remus, let me do the work,” Sirius said quietly, his voice entirely unlike how it had been only moments before. Remus nodded, confused but completely in abandon.

Sirius wrapped his hand lightly around Remus’ throat, and the threat was so arousing that Remus cried out. It felt wrong to want this so much, like he was damaged, and he had to wonder if he was really helping Sirius, or if maybe Regulus hadn’t kept his brother in better control than Remus knew how to.

Rocking faster, their cocks aligned and the friction bringing them both closer and closer, Sirius kissed Remus. It was softer than before, a strange mixture of dominance and apology. Remus eagerly kissed back, his mouth moving near frantically. He wanted so badly to come, to make Sirius come, to make him happy.

And then Sirius was panting against Remus’ lips, his hips were thrusting faster and faster, and the hand on Remus’ throat was tensing, squeezing, fingers digging in on the sides, pressing down at the front.

Remus wanted to tell him to stop, wanted to shout out that this was wrong, bad, unwanted, but his body was betraying him. Remus wheezed in until the hand was so tight he no longer could. Sirius’ other hand snuck between them and gripped their cocks together. Remus began to struggle against the hand, but Sirius’ face was beatific, his hand nirvana. A few quick, vicious pumps and Sirius was coming, crying out and branding Remus. Remus’ vision was spotty and darkened, his skin tight, his tongue swollen, but his cock had never been so hard. Sirius let go of his neck just as Remus’ cock thickened with climax, and his orgasm rushed through him like a supernova, and every breath he gasped wrangled a new rope of come from his cock.

Sirius fell against Remus’ chest, but the weight was too much after having just been choked, and suddenly the bonds were too tight. Remus heaved his weight, trying to expel Sirius and break the bonds, panicking.

“Remus, wait, just wait,” Sirius said, and he shifted his weight to the side, off Remus, and spelled the bonds to loosen and disappear. Remus immediately turned onto his stomach, taking deep, steadying breaths, but he couldn’t seem to get enough. He knew he was going to be sick. Tears were streaking his face. He suddenly felt dirty and disgusting. Leaning over the edge of the bed, Remus vomited onto the floor, gasping and crying.

Sirius was rubbing his back and whispering nonsensical things, and Remus slowly began to relax. He reached for his wand to clean up, but Sirius was already taking care of it. A moment later his mouth was fresh, and his body free of the sweat and come that had begun to make him feel itchy.

“Thanks,” he whispered hoarsely, falling onto his back and pulling a sheet over himself.

“Remus… I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Remus turned to look at him incredulously, and Sirius blushed.

“I mean, I _meant_ to do that, but I didn’t mean to get so carried away. You’re so beautiful, you know.” Remus cringed at the compliment, remembering that Sirius had said the same about Regulus. “And you were so submissive, I just wanted to… to control you, even—even your breathing. You couldn’t breathe unless I gave it to you. I’m sick. I’m so sick and evil.”

Remus sighed and put his arms around Sirius. Despite his fear and the strange feelings he’d had afterward, it had been the best orgasm of his life. “You’re not evil, Sirius, or sick. We’ll figure this out together, I swear. But you… I want you to keep coming to me, but you can’t do things that could actually… hurt me.”

Sirius pushed the hair away from Remus’ face, and again, Remus was reminded of the night he’d found Sirius with his brother; they’d lain in bed after, speaking lowly and trying to solve this same problem.

“Did you like the other stuff?” Sirius asked quietly.

“I liked it all,” Remus admitted, not able to meet Sirius’ eyes.

“Even when I choked you?”

“Even that.” Remus tried not to feel ashamed. They were in this together, after all, and if he swore Sirius wasn’t sick, then that had to mean he wasn’t, either.

“Regulus and I,” Sirius began, closing his eyes when Remus started. “We had a safe word. It was his idea. I’ve never used it with him, but it’s a good idea, isn’t it?”

“What does it mean?” Remus asked.

“It means, you say the word, and I stop whatever I’m doing right away, no questions asked. If you want to talk about it, we will. If you want to start again, we will.”

“What word should we use?”

“Hmmm… how about ‘Slytherin’? That’s something we’d never say in bed.”

Remus agreed to the word. He thought that it was a good idea, but it scared him that such a thing was even needed. “And what if I can’t speak? I couldn’t before, when you were…”

“Right,” Sirius said, looking thoughtful. He pressed the length of his body against Remus’, and Remus curled into the warmth and affection he found there. It wasn’t awkward, being naked with Sirius. He’d always thought it would be. But Sirius was taking care of him, smoothing his skin and kissing his face softly. “If you can’t speak, open and close the fingers of one hand. That’ll be your non-verbal safe word. Does that sound okay?”

Remus nodded. “Is it always going to be like that? So… intense?” He was really asking if they’d ever just _make love_ , but he didn’t want to sound stupid. Sirius obviously knew more about these things than he did, and he’d be selfish if he asked for more.

“I don’t know.” Sirius bit his lip, and Remus instinctively knew he was going to say something about Regulus. Remus kissed him so he wouldn’t have to hear it. Sirius moaned into the kiss, and it was soft and beautiful, the kind of kiss Remus always saw shared between clandestine lovers in the halls. It was a good, sweet kiss, and it gave Remus hope that there would be love, whether they made it or not.

* * *

  
Sitting in the library, Remus watched Sirius pace on the seventh floor. A few times, Remus would go up there to see him, to take his mind off the things that were obviously bothering him, but when he got there, Sirius wasn’t there anymore.

He had three essays on the go; he’d work for fifteen minutes on one before switching to the next. It was good for erudition and kept his mind sharp, enabling him to apply the theories behind one discipline to another, thereby expanding his breadth of knowledge and proving that he’d done thorough research. Of course, sometimes it meant writing a foot on the properties and usages of lacewings flies for potions in his Transfiguration essay on turning a lacewing fly into a beetle, but those were minor problems.

Sirius was walking back to Gryffindor Tower, and Remus sighed in relief. He hated seeing Sirius pacing like that. He waited until Sirius was in the common room with James and Peter before folding up the map and putting it away. He chewed on the end of his quill, eyeing his Potions homework tragically.

A moment later, immersed in writing about how stoppering death was _possible_ but not recommended, Remus jumped when Regulus Black sat down heavily beside him.

“I’ve been looking for you forever,” the young Slytherin said, sticking out his annoyingly biteable lower lip.

“Why?” Remus asked flatly, putting down his quill and turning to face Sirius’ brother.

“Because I think you’re really nice,” Regulus said, making Remus’ eyes widen.

“Er, Regulus, you should probably just go back to your dorm. I have a lot of work to—”

“And I think you’re really sexy, too,” Regulus interrupted. He leaned forward a bit, so close that Remus could see the flecks of ebon in his dark grey eyes. He’d once thought they were just like Sirius’, but now he could see they were darker, cooler.

Remus shook his head and turned back to his homework. There was no way he was getting sucked into this weird drama.

“I know our tastes are similar…” Regulus said, tracing his finger along the back of Remus’ scarred hand. “…But I think we can work past that, don’t you?”

“Sirius and I are together now, Regulus. I’m sorry that he hurt you, but he won’t anymore. You should just leave us both alone,” Remus said with finality.

Regulus jerked back as if struck, a vulnerable look crossing his features before they were schooled back into seductive interest. “Together?”

Remus nodded.

“And you don’t think you’d ever want to… play with a third?”

“Regulus!” Remus was exasperated. The kid was only fifteen and he was offering himself up for a threesome? It was too much to bear. “Just stop it.”

“How do you know you even want Sirius? How do you know it wasn’t seeing me all tied up, desperate for cock and hungry to be filled that made you hot?”

“I’ve always wanted Sirius,” Remus admitted slowly, frowning a little.

“We have more in common than you know,” Regulus said darkly.

Remus began to pack up his things, throwing his books, quills, and the map into his worn book bag. “I have to go.”

But Regulus was getting up as well, following him out of the library and along the corridor. “Wait! I just want to talk.”

Remus stopped and turned to him. “I don’t know what you want, but it isn’t to talk. I don’t want to play these games with you! You’re just a kid.”

Regulus growled and knocked Remus’ bag out of his hands. Before Remus could retaliate, the younger boy, who was Remus’ equal in size and weight, had him pushed up against the stone wall. “You think you want Sirius _so_ bad, but I think you’d give it up to anyone who knew how to handle you. Isn’t that right, you dirty twat? Wouldn’t you spread your legs for any bloke if he used the right words?”

Regulus was pressing his entire body against Remus’, and while Remus struggled, he could have done more. Part of him was afraid of what the boy was saying. Was it true? Would he fuck anyone who treated him the way Sirius had?

“Oh, yes,” Regulus hissed right next to ear, nipping his earlobe. “Your cock twitches for those magic words, doesn’t it? You’d just gag for it, even if it weren’t Sirius. _Slut_.” Remus gasped, struggling anew, fighting both against Regulus and the realisation that his cock _was_ filling out at this treatment. “Whore. Cunt. Oh, I know all of Sirius’ favourite words, and now it seems I know yours, too. Don’t just settle for Sirius because he’s pretty and you think he can give you what you need. Sirius will move on so quickly it’ll make your head spin. Do you know how many fucking times he told me he loved me? Why, just that very night you walked in, he was proclaiming he’d never leave me. His promises mean _nothing_.”

Regulus’ eyes were wild as he gripped Remus’ hair and held his head still for a kiss. It was ugly and brutal, just like his first kiss with Sirius, and Remus wanted to hate it, but it hurt in all those same ways. When the kiss broke, he cried out in frustration, trembling and trying to jerk out of Regulus’ surprisingly strong hold.

“Shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shut it for you,” Regulus said through gritted teeth, his mouth crashing on Remus’ again. Remus wanted to cry for the way Regulus was _just_ like Sirius, right down to the things he was saying. And that only meant that Sirius had said them all before… to his brother.

“What the fuck is going on here?” came Sirius’ voice, and then there were feet pounding on stone floor.

Regulus broke the kiss and leaned back in to bite Remus’ swollen lower lip, making him bleed. Remus finally pushed Regulus away, the latter having lost his grip in the surprise of seeing Sirius and James come barrelling at them.

Remus sank to the floor, completely numb. Sirius ran at Regulus and pushed him hard. The smaller boy fell to the floor, crying out in shock.

James fell to his knees beside Remus. “Are you all right? What the fuck happened?”

Remus only shook his head dumbly, watching Sirius advance on his brother. He leaned over and hauled Regulus to his feet. Regulus was fighting like a trapped cat, hissing and scratching, but Remus could see tears on his cheeks.

“Don’t let them hurt each other,” he begged James.

“They’ll sort this out, we shouldn’t get involved,” James said, wincing as Regulus gave a good kick to an unprotected shin.

But then Sirius was slapping Regulus, and it was too much like what he’d seen between the two of them in Regulus’ bed, and Remus lurched to his feet.

“Sirius, stop!” Remus cried, trying to get close, but James was holding him back. “ _Please._ ”

Sirius’ hand froze in mid-air, and he looked like he was about to scream or cry or kill Regulus. Finally, he practically threw Regulus from himself, and the boy stumbled, but caught himself, glaring at all of them.

“Well? Get the fuck out of here! And don’t ever let me see you talking to Remus again!” Sirius roared, advancing on Regulus once more. Regulus held his position for a second, but turned and walked away, spitting a glob of blood against the wall before turning the corner.

Sirius spun and stalked toward Remus, who took a half step back in surprise before standing his ground. Sirius grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him fiercely, easily devouring every last bit of Regulus that was left of his lips. Sirius’ tongue was deep inside his mouth, his teeth were biting, he was sucking, and the blood from Regulus’ bite was smearing over both their faces. Remus could do nothing but accept the reclamation. Sirius pulled back and rested his forehead on Remus’. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Remus didn’t know what he was supposed to forgive.

Then Sirius was walking away, all tense, wound energy waiting to be released. Remus winced as Sirius smashed his fist in the solid stone wall, leaving a smear of blood behind as he disappeared around the corner in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.

“Well,” James said, leaning against the wall, staring at Remus. “Want to explain?”

And suddenly Remus was so tired he could barely stand. “I just want to go to bed.”

“What’s going on with you and Sirius, Remus?” he asked, indicating that they should head back as well.

Remus sighed. “We’re… I don’t know. Something. Are you angry?”

“Not angry,” James said. “Confused. A little scared for you. What’s with Regulus?”

“You know how he is,” Remus said vaguely. “He’s a little confused, I think.”

“Apparently,” James snorted. “Remus, if you need to talk—”

“Not now,” Remus said pleadingly, giving his friend a pitiful look.

Nodding, James said, “All right, but I think we should talk tomorrow.”

Remus shrugged. “Tomorrow.”

* * *

  
Too wired to go to bed right away, and nervous that Sirius would be waiting for him, Remus sat in the common room and watched the fire for a bit. James went up to bed and left him alone after another promise that they’d talk about things later, and for that, Remus was grateful. James was a good friend, but he wanted Remus to explain things even _he_ didn’t understand.

Regulus was disturbed. Obviously the combination of living in that horrible house and having an intimate relationship with his brother had done something to his mind. He needed help.

But even more disturbing than all that was that Regulus was _right_. Remus had gotten hard having Regulus talk down to him like that. It wasn’t just Sirius. So maybe that meant Remus was disturbed, too. And maybe _that_ meant Sirius was, as well. They were all fucked-up.

Remus hefted his weary body out of the overstuffed armchair and made his way up to his dorm room. He opened and closed the door very quietly and made nary a sound as he crossed the floor to his bed. He stifled his sigh of relief when he saw his bed was empty; he’d been worried that Sirius would be waiting there for him, and he just didn’t have the energy for that.

As he stripped and crawled under the covers, he heard a noise from outside his curtains. Then immediately after, another sound. A whispered conversation.

“Go back to bed, Sirius.”

“I just want to see him!”

“He’s fine, you can talk in the morning.”

“What’s your problem? I’m not going to hurt him.”

“Maybe not physically, but he’s had a rough night, all right? Give him time to sort things out.”

“He doesn’t need to sort anything out! He wants me, I want him. Why are you even getting involved?”

Remus sighed and opened the drapes. “It’s okay, James. Thank you.”

James stared at him a moment. “Remus—” he began, looking uncertain. But then he just nodded, seemingly defeated, and went back to bed. His bed curtains were drawn shut violently. Sirius was in Remus’ bed a moment later, casting those spells that he really shouldn’t know.

Sirius sat at the end of his bed, staring at Remus, who sat by the headboard. “Remus, I’m so sorry that Regulus did that… he was out of line. I don’t know what he was thinking.”

“You don’t have to apologise for him,” Remus said, getting back under the covers and lying down.

“I feel like I’m responsible for him. Like I… made him that way.”

Remus didn’t want to think about how much of that was true. “How’s your hand?” he asked, changing the subject.

Sirius looked at his hand as though it were foreign to him. “Fine, I think. Hurts a little.”

Remus lifted the bedcovers in invitation, and Sirius quickly scrambled into the bed, facing Remus. After taking Sirius’ bruised hand, Remus could see it must be very sore. The knuckles were cracked and bleeding, blue with bruises, but nothing seemed to be broken, though Remus was no expert. He very carefully placed a kiss on the worst knuckle, barely brushing it with his lips.

“See?” Sirius said, smiling. “All better.”

“James wants to talk about what happened tomorrow,” Remus said wearily, tucking Sirius’ hair behind his ear.

“I’ll talk to him, if you want,” Sirius offered, pulling Remus closer.

Closing his eyes at the rightness of Sirius’ body against his, Remus felt his heart settle a little. Even if his body did respond strangely to certain words and actions, _this_ actually felt right, sweet and innocent.

“Maybe we should talk to him together,” Remus suggested. Feeling Sirius’ bare chest against his made his stomach all tight in that not-quite-familiar way, and he loved that feeling.

“Good idea,” Sirius whispered against Remus’ lips, making him feel the words more than hear them. “You still have blood on your face.”

Remus’ hand flew to his mouth. He hadn’t cleaned it after Regulus had bit him and Sirius had spread it all over. Sirius’ own face was clean, Remus noticed, which was why he hadn’t even thought of it.

Sirius leaned over and grabbed a tee shirt from the floor. He encouraged Remus to lay on his back, and Remus shifted to do so. After thoroughly licking a corner of the shirt, Sirius set to clearing Remus’ face of blood.

Remus lay still under the almost loving ministrations. Sirius continued to lick new parts of the shirt and swipe it over Remus’ cheek, chin and lips.

It wasn’t long before he was squirming, raising one leg so his arousal wasn’t as obvious.

“Sirius,” he murmured, taking the soiled shirt and tossing over the side of the bed. He pulled Sirius down for a kiss, only just meeting his lips before letting his head fall back onto the pillow. Sirius followed him down, kissing him more firmly. It was unlike any other kiss they’d shared. It wasn’t about ownership or exploiting unnamed desires. It was a simple exploration of one another, a gentle and shared movement of mouths that made Remus feel much closer to Sirius.

Sirius was running his hand up and down Remus’ thigh under the covers, and the touch was sending chills along his spine. He opened his legs, trying not to think of Regulus’ cruel words that he’d do that for any man, and Sirius climbed atop him, settling in the cradle of his hips, bringing their cocks together.

“My Remus,” Sirius said, rolling his hips, drawing a moan from Remus. “I want to be inside you.”

Biting his lip in a moment of uncertainty, Remus considered. He wanted Sirius, that much was obvious. Hell, he loved the boy, had for years. But after everything that had happened, maybe it was moving too quickly…

But then Sirius was taking off his pants, and Remus’, too, and when he brought their groins back together, Remus was too far gone to think clearly about the ramifications… all he wanted was Sirius.

“I want you inside me,” Remus said softly, running his hands over Sirius’ back and flanks, relishing the silky skin covering taut, tensed muscles.

“Turn over.”

Remus hesitated only a moment before moving onto his belly and then getting up on his hands and knees. He’d only ever seen two men together once, in a magazine, and this was the position they’d used. They’d both seemed to enjoy it very much, so Remus was sure he would, as well.

Sirius was pressing kisses all along his spine, until he reached the base of his spine. Remus heard him whisper softly, and something like a cool breeze caressed his arse. He squirmed a little, but it hadn’t hurt, just felt strange.

A sharp nip on his arse cheek made Remus jerk forward a little, but Sirius pulled him back. “Don’t worry, you’ll love this,” he said reassuringly, and Remus tried to relax.

Sirius kissed, licked, and bit all over Remus behind, getting closer and closer to his crack, making Remus wriggle a little in embarrassment. And then Sirius placed a kiss right on Remus’ hole, and he cried out in shock, trying to move away, but Sirius held him fast. He’d never even heard of people doing that, but maybe Regulus had liked it… Remus shook his head, determined not to think of that.

A soft swipe of tongue followed by hard kisses right against his entrance had Remus groaning, dropping his head and arching into the touch. He hadn’t realised something so dirty could feel so amazing. Then the tongue was burrowing in, trying to get inside him, and Remus was panting, pushing back, demanding more.

Sirius chuckled. “Greedy little slut, aren’t you?”

And Remus wanted to tell him to shut up, that they were making _love,_ not fucking like before, but then Sirius’ mouth was back on him, his tongue _inside_ him, and Remus couldn’t think straight anymore, even if he’d wanted to.

“You taste so good,” Sirius said as he straightened. Remus wanted to whine and beg that he go back to what he was doing; Remus was so hard that his cock brushing against the sheet was almost enough to set him off.

Sirius whispered another spell, and Remus tried to hear this one, but couldn’t. He would have to remember to ask Sirius how he’d learned all his little tricks and if he’d be willing to teach Remus. Then Sirius pressed a cool, slick finger against his hot hole, and Remus exhaled sharply. Even though he knew, technically, what two men did together, he’d never put anything inside himself, too worried that he’d hurt himself. But when Sirius’ finger slid within, he was angry with himself for having never done this before.

The stretch and burn was odd, especially as Sirius added a second finger, but it wasn’t painful. The more Sirius moved his fingers, the better it felt. Sirius was groaning and saying dirty things as he added another finger, and Remus hissed a little at the pain that had caused. Sirius kissed his back, moving his fingers in an odd way until he did _something_ that made Remus jolt and whimper, pathetic noises escaping from his throat as his sight was filled with white again and again. It was almost too much. He raised himself higher so his cock couldn’t brush the sheet; he didn’t want to come before Sirius was even inside him.

“Ready?” Sirius asked, withdrawing his fingers. Remus moved his hips back as if to keep them inside, and Sirius laughed softly as he lightly slapped Remus’ arse.

Remus nodded in answer to his question, and then he felt the broad head of Sirius’ cock push at his hole. He wasn’t gentle, and Remus had to breathe deeply to escape the sharp stretch of penetration.

“Gods, so tight, aren’t you? My perfect little fucking virgin.” Sirius groaned and thrust deeper, and Remus felt sharp hipbones hit his cheeks, and they both stilled. The feeling of fullness, of complete surrender made Remus pant with desire, and the pain was no longer a singular thing, but mixing and melding with his desire to make them both animals of lust.

“More,” he said hoarsely.

“Yes, Remus, I’ll give you more, always more,” Sirius said, withdrawing slowly before thrusting back in sharply. Remus almost lost his position, but he scrambled back, arching his back more.

Sirius began to thrust harshly, gripping Remus’ hips tightly, fingernails digging in, scratching and bruising. He began to angle both of their hips, shifting until Remus felt that sharp shock of pleasure flit up his spine, making him cry out.

“Feel that?” Sirius hissed. “Only I can make you feel that way.”

Reaching beneath himself, Remus began to stroke his cock. He couldn’t hold back any longer; he just needed to come. But his hand was slapped away and replaced with Sirius’ cool, smooth one, and Remus thrust into it, fucking the hand and fucking himself on that cock.

Sirius was stroking him almost too hard to be pleasurable, but that ache was shifting into satisfaction like the other pains of the moment, and Remus rode with it. When Sirius leaned over him to bite his neck, Remus screamed as his orgasm, starting at the bite, ripped through his body to explode from his cock. He couldn’t ever remember coming like that, not even when Sirius had frotted against him, biting and scratching.

He wanted to slump down, but Sirius was still pounding into him, holding him by the hips and driving deep. But then his movements faltered a little, grew uneven, and Sirius was shouting, splashing his insides with warmth, and slumping over Remus, who was finally able to slide down on the bed.

Sirius rolled off of him a moment later, drawing Remus into his arms so they faced one another. Again, the soft kisses were back, almost confusing when juxtaposed against the brutal, demanding fucking he’d just given Remus.

The expression on Sirius face was of pure contentment, and Remus was rushed with pride that he had done that.

He leaned forward to kiss Sirius’ slightly parted lips, and the black-haired youth stirred and stretched. He’d obviously been on the verge of falling asleep. “Can I stay here?” Remus was about to whisper yes, but Sirius added, “I’ll be gone before Mum wakes up, promise.”

* * *

 

Nearly a month went by without anything like that happening again. Remus tried not to let it bother him. After all, Sirius had been… fucking Regulus for over a year before Remus had demanded it stop. It was only natural that, when sleepy, Sirius might be reminded of the way things were. He didn’t _like_ it, but he couldn’t really get mad at it.

Or rather, he could, but then he might lose Sirius, and that was not something he was willing to consider.

Regulus hadn’t tried anything with Remus after that evening at the library, though he did continue to shoot angry, lustful, or pleading looks at both Remus and Sirius. Remus didn’t know what he wanted, but if it involved Sirius or himself in any sexual way, there was no point in even considering it.

Remus had been with Sirius on a couple occasions when he’d tried to talk to his brother normally, but Regulus always shifted the conversation to innuendo and outright proposition, so they mostly stayed away.

Sirius had been acting strangely that entire day, and Remus was glad to get the note saying that Sirius wanted to meet up in the Room of Requirement after dinner. Remus recognised the handwriting immediately, or else he might have suspected that Regulus had sent the note.

When Remus checked the map after dinner, he saw Sirius pacing on the seventh floor, by the Room of Requirement. He left the map in the dorm room and quickly made his way across the castle.

When he got to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, Sirius wasn’t there anymore. The door was, however, and Remus opened it and walked in.

There was a bed in the middle of the room, just like the canopy beds in Gryffindor Tower, only much larger. The curtains were drawn, and Remus stepped toward the bed, but Sirius parted the curtains narrowly and came out, sliding them snugly shut behind him.

“Hey, Remus,” he said softly, gathering him into an embrace. Remus sighed happily and returned the hug, content in Sirius’ arms. “I want to try something new, okay? It’s something I really want, and I think you’ll like it if you give it a chance.”

For some reason, Remus had a bad feeling about this. When he and Sirius played with dominance and submission, he sometimes got the feeling that they were playing adult games with no conception of the consequences.

But he wanted to make his lover happy.

“Okay,” he said. “I promise I’ll give it a shot.”

Sirius smiled widely and looked relieved. Remus was already thinking about his safe word.

Sirius took his hand and strode toward the bed. He bit his lip and looked at Remus, who stared back anxiously. When he drew the curtain, Remus wanted to cry.

Regulus was kneeling on the bed, his arms tied above his head and secured to the canopy, the taut line of his body marred by his straining erection. Sirius’ tie bisected his mouth, gagging him. He moaned when Remus and Sirius both looked at him.

“I’m not doing this,” Remus said quietly, trying to back away.

“Remus, wait, listen. I don’t want to fuck him, okay?”

“What? Sirius, look—”

“I know! But you don’t understand. I… I want _you_ to have him.”

“You’re fucking crazy. You can’t _give_ me your brother!”

Sirius held both of Remus’ shoulders securely. The word _Slytherin_ was on the tip of his tongue; he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t already said it and stormed away. Regulus’ grey eyes were watching intently, his hips moving ever so minutely.

“He wants it! He came to me with the idea! And I know you want him, too, okay? Please, I want this so much.”

Remus was shaking his head. “I don’t want him. I don’t know why you think that, Sirius. I only want you, I’ve only _ever_ wanted you! I don’t want to fuck him. I won’t!”

Sirius sighed and nodded. Remus was flooded with relief. “Okay, it was just an idea.”

But Regulus was shaking his head frantically, making muffled noises behind his gag.

“What do you want?” Sirius snapped, looking dejected.

Remus noticed Regulus was holding up one finger and looking up toward it. Realising this must be his non-verbal safe word, Remus lunged onto the bed and took out his gag. Regulus worked his jaw and smiled.

“Thanks.”

Remus untied his hands, and Regulus rotated his shoulders. “You really don’t want to fuck me?” Regulus asked, almost sounding hurt. Remus shook his head.

And then, faster than Remus could even follow, Regulus had his wand on him, and a few spells later, Remus was bound in the same position Regulus had been: on his knees, arms raised high over his head. He wasn’t gagged, but Regulus was drawing the spit-wet tie through his fingertips.

“No, but you want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

“Regulus!” Sirius shouted, clambering onto the bed. Remus was quaking with anger and impotency, but he didn’t say anything. He was confused by what he was feeling; alongside the anger there was freedom and lust. He didn’t really have to choose; they would do it for him.

“Wait, Sirius! Fucking Gryffindor, always rushing in to rescue those who don’t necessarily want it… isn’t that right, Remus?” Regulus trailed his hand up the inside of Remus’ thigh and grazed his thickening cock.

Remus swallowed heavily, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. He couldn’t look at Sirius. He definitely couldn’t look at Regulus.

“It’s not breaking the rules if we fuck him together, is it, Sirius?” Regulus purred, unhooking Remus’ trousers and pushing them down with his pants to free his cock. Remus’ mouth fell open at hearing what they intended to do.

“No,” Sirius whispered, and the shift on the bed signified that he had joined them. His hand smoothed along Remus’ raised arm, still clothed, until it reached his neck, which he used to pull Remus’ head forward again. “Do you want this?”

Remus chewed on his lip. He should say no. He should say stop. He should say _Slytherin_ and run the hell away. He said nothing.

“You remember your safe word?” Sirius prompted, rightly taking Remus’ silence as consent. Remus nodded. Another one of those dastardly spells, this time by Regulus, had them all naked in a flash.

“Only, I think he’s missing one important piece of clothing,” Regulus said musingly. In a moment the tie that had muted Regulus was stuffed into his own mouth and tied at the back of his head.

“Perfect,” Sirius said, tracing the tie. He sucked Remus’ lower lip into his mouth, the only kind of kiss Remus could get with the obstruction.

“Spread your legs, whore,” Regulus snapped, and Remus tried to remember to breathe. He shouldn’t want this, but he _did_. And Sirius obviously did as well; his cock was hard and leaking.

Remus shifted from side to side as he spread his legs as much as possible. The position lowered him a little, which put strain on his bound arms, but he wanted to please them, so he went past his own comfort zone.

Regulus kissed his way down the front of Remus’ chest, open-mouthed, wet kisses that simultaneously cooled and heated his skin. Sirius watched intently as Regulus took Remus into his mouth. Remus arched his back into the wet heat. It was so like Sirius’ mouth, only even more experienced. Regulus did things that Remus hadn’t even thought possible, taking him into his throat, tonguing his slit, nibbling on his foreskin.

And then he was moving lower, mouthing Remus’ balls and taking them into his mouth, humming around them, pulling the hairs with his lips.

Still, he kept moving, turning onto his back and shimmying beneath Remus’ spread thighs, biting and suckling on his perineum before settling on Remus’ hole. Remus cried out as Regulus pressed his face between Remus’ cheeks, eating him out as though starving.

“Release his arms,” Regulus said, breaking away from Remus’ body. “I want him to sit on my face.”

“Fuck,” Sirius hissed, untying Remus by hand. Regulus pulled on Remus’ hips until his arse was flush against his face. Regulus parted his cheeks with his hands and continued to lick and suck on Remus’ hole.

“I wish you could see how beautiful you look,” Sirius whispered, straddling Regulus’ body so he was facing Remus. He leaned in to kiss Remus, and Remus desperately tried to kiss back, but the tie got in the way, and he whimpered.

“Shh.” Sirius caressed the side of his face before reaching behind and loosening the knot. The tie was around Remus’ neck now, and Sirius kissed him properly. Remus was overcome with sensation, being kissed so intimately in two such difference places. His heart felt like it was pumping lava instead of blood, and Remus was burning up.

“Do you want to suck him while I fuck you?” Sirius asked, plucking Remus’ foreskin, making him shiver.

“Or do you want us both to fuck you, together?”

Remus gasped and Regulus moaned, the vibrations making his cock expel beads of precome. “That’ll hurt,” Remus said, hands clenching on Sirius’ waist.

“But you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Like for it to hurt? Like to be shared? To be filled… so… deeply…” Sirius finished, whispering against Remus’ ear.

Remus nodded. He was scared to admit it aloud, scared to verbally consent, as if that would make him truly deviant.

Sirius moved off of Regulus, who got out from beneath Remus to push Remus onto his back and crawl on top of him, kissing him wildly with a musky flavour that Remus should have shied away from, but instead, welcomed, kissing Regulus in return.

“So fucking hot,” Sirius said, stroking his cock.

“Shut up and watch,” Regulus snapped. Sirius abruptly slapped him upside the head, making Regulus chuckle darkly. “He’s got quite the temper,” Regulus said confidentially to Remus. “Sure you can handle it all by your lonesome? Yeah? Well, if you ever need him to lay off, send him to me. I could always take whatever he had to give, and love it.”

Remus wanted to retort, to say that Sirius would never hurt him in a way he didn’t want, but then Regulus’ fingers were working their way, dry, into his hole. Remus shouted, and Sirius cast a lubrication spell before gripping Regulus around the throat, stilling him.

“Don’t you fucking hurt him, you stupid prick,” Sirius snarled, squeezing tighter for emphasis. Remus didn’t bother explaining that that was _exactly_ what Regulus had hoped his brother would do.

Remus moaned to bring Sirius’ attention back to him, and it worked, for Sirius settled down beside Remus, caressing his chest, pinching and twisting his nipples as Remus writhed beneath them both. Regulus’ fingers were working him slowly, spreading him gently, now that he’d been reprimanded. Sirius was watching him carefully, to make sure he wasn’t hurting Remus, but everything was pleasure now.

“He’s ready,” Regulus announced. Sirius looked to Remus, who nodded. He was better stretched than when Sirius fucked him most of the time, but that was probably for the best, as he was going to take two cocks for the first time.

“Sit on my cock, then, whore.” Sirius sprawled onto his back, holding his erection steady while looking at Remus with an eyebrow cocked. Remus hesitated only a moment. Sirius talking to him like that in their own beds was different than saying it in front of Regulus, but then if anyone understood, he did.

Remus straddled Sirius and slowly sank onto his waiting cock. There was barely any pain. He should be grateful to Regulus for preparing him so thoroughly, but he missed that urgent burn.

“Don’t worry, my little cunt,” Regulus said teasingly, stroking Remus’ back with mockingly gentle fingers. “You’ll get your pain soon enough.”

Remus hated him for knowing what he wanted, but wanted him for giving him what he hated.

Sirius pulled Remus onto his chest and kissed him softly. The contrast between the softness of his lips and the hardness of everything else they’d done made Remus want to cry. He wanted to confess his feelings, he wanted to demand a reciprocal confession, but instead, he let the kiss go on.

A tongue teased at his entrance, flickering along his stretched hole. It felt cool and relieving, and Remus started to rock into the sensation. A moment later, it was gone, and then Sirius snapped, “Regulus, no!”

Regulus chuckled and moved behind Remus. “Worth a try,” he quipped lightly, and Remus knew he’d been doing something to Sirius down there. He tried to be angry, but for the first time, he realised how he would feel if someone took Sirius from him, and he empathised. Even if it was wrong, Regulus obviously cared for Sirius.

But all contemplations stopped as a slicked finger wormed its way inside him, alongside Sirius’ cock. Remus tried to pull away from Sirius’ mouth, but Sirius held his head down and forced the kiss. After a few moments, it didn’t hurt any longer. Another finger worked inside, and Remus winced, but let Sirius distract him with the kiss. A third finger made Remus want to run away again, but his safe word was so far from his mind it was practically forgotten.

“Pull out a bit,” Regulus said softly. Sirius lifted Remus slightly off him by the hips, and Remus felt renewed wetness all around his hole. Then another cock nudged against his entrance, and Remus froze. Regulus was pushing and pushing until he finally breached the tight ring, and all three of them cried out in surprise at the sensation. Remus couldn’t believe he had two cocks inside him, and he couldn’t believe he didn’t want it to stop.

“Okay, Remus?” Sirius asked, eyes almost black with desire.

“Fine,” Remus said, and he let Sirius pull his hips down onto both of their cocks. Regulus’ hand snuck around and gripped Remus’ prick, stroking lightly. Remus sat up a little, trying to ease the burn, and the angle brought a cock hard against his prostate, making him shout in surprise.

“Such an eager hole,” Regulus said into his ear, and then his mouth was biting and kissing the length of Remus’ neck, and if he closed his eyes, he could almost forget it wasn’t Sirius.

When they were as deep as they could get, Remus noticed his body was shaking. The pain wasn’t even that bad anymore, but the intensity of what he was doing, what he was letting happen, was making him feel oddly detached.

But he couldn’t be detached any longer when Regulus began to pull out and thrust back in. Sirius hissed and began to move as well, and then Remus couldn’t do anything but brace his hands on the bed beside Sirius’ head and take the dual pounding. There was a cock constantly pressing against his prostate, a hand continually gripping his cock, fingertips always teasing his nipples, and there were even fingers in his mouth, which he sucked diligently, noisily, lost in the noises of the men surrounding him.

“Yes, Remus, you love this, you love being used, don’t you?” Sirius demanded, pressing his fingers against Remus’ tongue and sliding them in and out. “You’d let us fuck you anywhere, anytime, wouldn’t you, you cockhungry slut. God, you’re so fucking sexy… your hole’s going to be so loose you’ll need both of us from here on out just to satisfy you.”

Remus shook his head rapidly in denial, trying to show Sirius with his eyes that this was only a one-time thing, he was only doing it for Sirius… but that would have been a lie, so Remus just continued to fellate Sirius’ fingers and hope that Sirius didn’t want this again and again.

“Close, Sirius?” Regulus rasped behind him.

“Fuck, yes.”

No one asked Remus whether or not he was, but maybe they could tell. He was moments away from coming, he just needed one more…

“Come, you dirty slut, come so we can fill you up and make you walk back to the Tower with our spunk sloshing around inside you, cleaning your filthy hole, leaking down your legs, marking you!”

Remus shouted as his orgasm took him almost by surprise. His arse clenched unforgivingly around the two cocks inside him, and he whimpered as the sensation prolonged his climax, drawing more and more come from him. He fell forward onto Sirius’ chest, breathless, and was taken in by his strong, protective arms.

Regulus swore as he pounded into Remus’ tender hole until he came, withdrawing almost immediately and flopping onto his back, panting. Remus cried at the sharp withdrawal, but Sirius was thrusting into him from beneath, and Remus could only take the abbreviated fucking until Sirius roared as he came, filling Remus’ sore hole.

Sirius continued to hold Remus, panting hot, wet breath against his ear and whispering compliments that felt completely out of place and yet somehow exactly perfect.

“That is one horny little slut you have there, Sirius. Be careful lest he starts bending over for every cock he thinks can satisfy like that,” Regulus drawled.

“Shut the fuck up, Regulus,” Remus finally snapped. It wasn’t right to be talked about like that when it wasn’t sex. “I’m not like that, and you can’t talk to me like that anymore.”

“Remus is right, Regulus,” Sirius said softly. “Remus has only been with us, and from now on, he’ll only be with me. He’s no more a slut than you are.”

Regulus scoffed, but his eyes looked haunted, and Remus wondered if Regulus hadn’t been trying to find someone to fill the metaphorical and physical hole Sirius had left barren when he’d stopped being with his brother like that.

“Come on, Remus, let’s go,” Sirius said, helping Remus off the bed. Remus was amazed when Sirius began to tenderly dress him, even buttoning his shirt for him. He smoothed his hands over the front and placed a soft kiss of Remus’ lips, which felt swollen and sore.

Sirius then dressed himself, tossing Regulus’ clothes onto the bed. Regulus didn’t move. Sirius took Remus’ hand and led him toward the door, and when Remus turned to say goodbye or _something_ , Regulus looked both wounded and furious. He glared at Remus, who quickly turned away, shocked.

When they got back to their room, Remus spared a glance at the Marauder’s Map to see if Regulus had begun to make his way back to the dungeons and was surprised to see him walking back and forth in front of the Room of Requirement, like he’d seen Sirius do so many times.

It would be almost two weeks before Remus would come to realise the significance of that.

* * *

  
Remus stretched decadently and looked up at the library ceiling. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so content.

Things with Sirius were just about perfect. They explored one another whenever and however they could. Sirius had spoken to James, who had expressed concern over the intensity of their relationship. James’ fears hadn’t quite been allayed, but he seemed resigned that Sirius and Remus were together.

Even Regulus hadn’t caused any further problems. He didn’t even look at Remus, let alone glare or sneer at him. And Sirius was so happy; he told Remus so all the time, and Remus could see it in his actions, in the tender way he treated Remus, and in the amazing ways he fucked him. And he hadn’t mistaken Remus for Regulus again, even in the throes of passion or in the calmness afterward.

Remus checked the map for Sirius. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t do that anymore, but he wanted to make sure Sirius was in the dorm; he wanted to surprise him with the new lubrication he’d brewed—it was supposed to make any body part feel ten times the intensity of any act. He only had a little bit, but he could make more if Sirius liked it.

But Sirius wasn’t in the dorm, or the common room. Hands trembling a little, Remus checked the dungeons, but he wasn’t there either. The Remus looked higher and found him pacing outside the Room of Requirement as he had so many times before. Remus had wondered about this, and had even asked, but Sirius said he just went there to think.

Well, Remus might as well go get him so they could walk back together. Remus packed up his things, fingering the new lube in his pocket to make sure it hadn’t slipped out, and started the walk.

When he’d finally made it to the seventh floor, Sirius wasn’t there any longer. Remus sighed and checked the map again. Yes, there he was, walking outside this very room, in this very spot.

“Sirius?” he said quietly, wondering why on Earth Sirius would borrow James’ invisibility cloak just to pace.

There was no answer, and Remus stood right in Sirius’ path, watching the map, amazed as Sirius’ footsteps went right through his. The map was _never_ wrong…

Then Remus lifted his eyes to the Room of Requirement. The door was right there. Someone was inside. Remus took a step forward, then hesitated. _Coward_ , he chastised himself. If Sirius was in there, he didn’t want to know…

But he had to. He swung the door open and looked inside.

And just like the last time he’d burst through a door like this, Remus saw Sirius and Regulus. Together. Regulus was on his knees, face in the coverlet of a large bed, hands tied behind his back. Sirius was fucking him viciously, holding his head down and drawing his nails over Regulus’ back.

Remus didn’t whimper. He didn’t cry or gasp. He only said, “Oh, Sirius,” and shook his head.

Sirius immediately turned to him, his face a mixture of shock and dismay. “Remus, it’s—”

“—Not what I think?” Remus supplied. “No, this time it really is.” Remus turned, but not before he saw the victorious look on Regulus’ face as he turned under Sirius’ hand.

Remus had the map, so he knew Sirius couldn’t find him. He went to sit down by the edge of the forest, his back against the tree. It was too dark to see anything, but Remus wasn’t scared. He was a monster, too, and monsters usually left one another well enough alone.

* * *

  
“Remus, please, you have to talk to me!” Sirius cried, following Remus on their way to the Great Hall for dinner. Remus tried not to let heartbreak and bitter anger eat him up, but he was furious. Sirius had _lied_ ; he’d pretended everything was all right.

Every single fucking time he’d seen Sirius _pacing,_ he’d really been inside the Room of Requirement, fucking his own brother. The map wasn’t able to show what happened inside the room, because the room knew its occupants required secrecy. Or at least that’s the conclusion he and James had reached when they’d spoken. James didn’t know everything, just that Sirius had cheated, and he was furious for Remus.

“Leave him the fuck alone, Sirius,” James snapped, putting his arm around Remus’ shoulder.

“You don’t understand—”

“No, you don’t understand,” James said, stopping them both and turning. Remus looked anywhere but at Sirius. “You’re an idiot if you think you can treat Remus like that. He’s never been anything but the best of friends to you. He would have done _anything_ for you.” Remus and Sirius both cringed as they recalled exactly what Remus had done for Sirius. “You fucked it up and you don’t get another chance unless Remus says so, and he _doesn’t_.”

James steered them through the large doors and toward the Gryffindor table. Sirius burst through behind them and shouted, “I fucking _love_ you, Remus!”

Remus clenched his eyes shut as the entire hall went silent. He turned a little to see Sirius, oblivious to the low susurration of voices around them as people began to whisper and shift.

James looked questioningly at him, and Remus gave him a short nod. James didn’t sit, but watched Remus. Remus walked up to Sirius, whose face was the picture of despair. His grey eyes were shiny, his lips parted, his fists clenched. “Please,” he whispered.

“And what about him?” Remus said very quietly. They both knew who he about talking about.

“I _can’t_ … I love him, too. He’s my…”

“I know,” Remus said, shaking his head. “But I won’t share. Not with him or anyone. If you want to be with me, he has to be only… what he is. Nothing more.” _Only your brother, not your lover._

“But I love you, Remus, I swear it. It hurts so bad.”

“It only hurts because it isn’t right. I can’t make it right for you.”

“Please,” he said again, desperately. He reached for Remus’ hand, but it was held out of reach.

“Goodbye, Sirius.” Remus turned and said a few words to James, excusing himself. James said he’d bring food up later, and he’d make sure Sirius didn’t go after him alone. Peter was watching avidly, but Remus didn’t pay him any mind. Sirius could use a friend; he hoped Peter would be that for him.

He couldn’t help it. Remus looked over to the Slytherin table. Regulus was looking right at him, but there was no triumphant glee on his face. There was no expression at all. Regulus looked… empty. Remus turned away.

* * *

  
The rest of school year passed surprisingly quickly and without incidence. After about a month, Remus had begun to speak to Sirius again. It took a long time, but they were friends once more. Not the way they once were; no, Remus doubted they would ever be that. But they were at least able to speak to one another.

And Remus barely ever thought of Sirius fucking Regulus. He didn’t even look at the map anymore. He’d told James not to give it to him.

But there were times, Remus couldn’t lie, when they were saying goodnight or putting on their ties or passing the corridor by the library that they looked at one another, and both felt an urge, a connection. Remus knew Sirius did because he’d told him. He’d begged to know if Remus felt it, too. But Remus hadn’t answered. It was there, though. Remus still loved him. Maybe he was stupid, but he did.

And so Remus hadn’t even tried to find another boy to satiate that need he had, to be held down, used, yelled at. If it wasn’t Sirius, it wasn’t anyone. And it obviously wasn’t going to be Sirius.

Regulus never spoke to Remus again. He barely looked at him, and when he did, it was with that same void look he’d had the day Sirius had shouted that he loved Remus. Remus noticed Sirius’ brother hanging out with older Slytherins, seventh years, and he was a little worried for the boy. He was so young and his tastes made him really vulnerable. But he tried to convince himself that Regulus knew what he was getting into, that he could take care of himself.

“Excited for the summer?” Peter asked brightly as they were all gathering the last of their things before they had to board the Hogwarts Express.

“Very,” Sirius drawled. Remus shot him a look. Was he excited because it meant he got to have Regulus whenever he wanted? Sirius must have felt his eyes on him, for he turned to face Remus. “I mean, no more homework, right?” His eyes were pleading.

“Right,” Remus said, turning back to his trunk. He tried to push the lid down but it just wouldn’t go. He sat on it and tried to snap the latch, even bouncing a little, but to no avail. He sighed. He’d have to carry something.

But Sirius came over and put his hands on either side of Remus’ thighs on the trunk. Leaning very close to Remus’ face, he pushed down, and the latch secured. Sirius didn’t move. “Thanks,” Remus whispered, tasting Sirius’ exhalations.

“Anytime,” Sirius said in a voice that promised more than help with luggage. Remus looked away.

“So, Remus, you’re still coming by on the thirteenth, right?” James asked casually when Sirius left to make sure the bathroom was cleared.

“Yeah,” Remus said. He wasn’t very excited to go, but James had been a true friend, even if all he talked about was Lily Evans.

“Why can’t I go?” Peter whined.

“Because my parents don’t like you, Peter,” James said. At Peter’s crestfallen expression, he laughed apologetically. “I’m just kidding, you were invited, but you said last week that you were grounded for failing History of Magic.”

Peter brightened. “Yeah, my parents are the worst.”

“Whose toothbrush?” Sirius asked, coming back from the bathroom.

Remus checked. “Oh, that’s mine.” He held his hand out for it, and Sirius stepped in close, placed the toothbrush in Remus’ hand and closed both their fingers around it.

Sirius looked very much like there was something he wanted to say, but he only patted Remus’ hand and hauled his trunk up. “Ready?”

A chorus of, “Ready,” and everyone filed out of the room.

Once they were waiting for the train, Remus spotted Regulus coming for them. He turned to James and asked if there was anything special he should bring for his weeklong visit.

“Just the normal stuff. Maybe your Quidditch gear, but I have extra if you need it. We can play Seeker’s Quidditch, though I have a bit of an advantage.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, “being the only one who can actually play.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Regulus and Sirius talking lowly. Sirius was shaking his head, and his brother seemed to be pleading with him. Regulus looked right at Remus, who almost stepped back at the hatred in his gaze.

“Whoa,” said James. “What’s his problem?”

“Dunno,” Remus said, frowning.

Then Sirius was shaking his head vehemently, and when Regulus went to put his hand on Sirius’ arm, Sirius swatted it away angrily, turning his back on Regulus, who glared for a moment, opened his mouth, snapped it shut, and stormed away.

“What was that about?” Peter asked immediately.

Sirius shrugged. “Just brother stuff. Nothing more.” He looked at Remus, who was watching him carefully. Sirius attempted a small smile, but it was aborted as the Express pulled up and they boarded. Nothing further was said.

* * *

  
Remus awoke with that horrible feeling that he wasn’t where he ought to be. Forcing his eyes open, he realised he was in James’ room. Sleeping on the floor was brutal, but James didn’t have an extra bed in his room like Sirius had.

He _really_ had to stop thinking about Sirius.

Which was why he was all the more frustrated when he was sure he could hear Sirius’ voice. Getting up, he saw James wasn’t in his bed, and déjà vu washed over him. Thankfully, James had no brothers with which to fornicate. But still, Remus could hear _someone._

Remus pulled on a tee shirt and straightened his pyjama bottoms before opening the door. The voices were louder now, and it was definitely Sirius.

“…Can stay here, then. My parents won’t mind, I swear.”

“It’s only for a few weeks, until everything blows over.”

“No problem, Sirius. As long as you need. I’d feel better if you never went back there.”

“You and me both. You’re sure this is all right?”

“Yeah, ‘course. Let me just get some more blankets. Remus is using the one you usually do.”

Remus wondered if that was why he could swear he’d smelled Sirius all night.

“Remus is here? Oh, shit, that was this week?”

“Yeah. Is that going to be a problem?” James asked sternly.

“Of course not. I… I miss him a lot. I just don’t think he’ll be happy to see me.”

“He misses you, you know. And he might be willing to give you another chance, if you’ve stopping fucking around.”

“I _have,_ ” Sirius said insistently. “I’ll probably never see the other guy again. It’s all over between us, has been for a while.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I wanted to give him time. Things were intense between us, you know.”

James laughed. “Oh, I know. I wish I didn’t.”

Remus tried to quell the happiness that was burgeoning within him. He wanted proof that nothing like this would happen again. But he was worried about Sirius and how he’d ended up here in the middle of the night, and he wanted to see him.

He descended the stairs quickly, hesitating when he saw them standing at the bottom. Sirius looked terrible. He had only a stuffed rucksack and the clothes on his back, and he’d obviously left in a hurry. Remus could see his pyjamas beneath his robes, which were buttoned crookedly.

“James,” Sirius said, looking at Remus. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Remus?” James asked as Remus continued down the stairs to stand beside them.

“It’s okay, James. Thank you.” Remus could never be thankful enough for James’ protection and friendship these past months.

James quickly went up the stairs, and the remaining boys waited until they heard his bedroom door shut to move. When it did, Sirius stepped forward and pulled Remus into his arms. Remus allowed the move; it was the first time they’d embraced since before he’d caught Sirius with Regulus that final time.

“Gods, I’ve missed you,” Sirius said brokenly, caressing Remus’ face.

“Did you mean what you said? You and Regulus…?”

“Are done,” Sirius said with finality. “He’s hanging around with Death Eaters, Remus. I tried… tried to help him, but he wants to be one, and my parents… they’re fucking encouraging him! Can you believe that shit? So when I said that I’d rather die than take the Mark, and Regulus should, as well, they kicked me out. And I told Regulus to come, that I’d protect him, even though I’d never… you know… again. But he said he liked his new life. He said… he said that they really cared about him. Like I didn’t!”

“Oh, Sirius,” Remus said, running his hands along Sirius’ back. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Regulus had seemed too smart to want that sort of life. Remus couldn’t help but be shocked and heartbroken for Sirius.

“Remus, I’m so sorry, so sorry I fucked up so badly. He just needed me so much. Or I thought he did. I’ve thought about you every day,” he swore.

“Me, too,” Remus said truthfully.

Sirius leaned back and held Remus’ face softly with both hands. He let his intention be known as he very slowly leaned in. Remus allowed, wanted, the kiss, and when it came, he parted his lips eagerly.

Sirius’ tongue moved slow and sure against Remus’, and it reminded him of all the amazing times they’d had together, of the hope and the happiness and the easiness of it all.

“I love you,” Sirius said against Remus’ mouth.

“I love you, too,” Remus answered, smiling softly. He laughed as Sirius gathered him in his arms and spun them both around. It was ridiculous and sentimental and _perfect._

And if Sirius sometimes shut his eyes tightly when he whispered those three words, Remus didn’t really mind. After all, _his_ eyes were wide open.

 

 

The end.


End file.
